The Moore American

Local News

November 28, 2012

How much help is too much?

MOORE — Question: My husband says I help my son too much with his homework. How involved should I be?

— Cindi, Norman

Answer: Dear Cindi,

At different ages and stages of development, different levels of help are appropriate. When kids are elementary aged, parents need to start establishing best times and places for homework. Some kids do better right after school with a snack so they can go to activities at night while some prefer to take a break, go out and run some energy off, eat a good dinner, and then hit the books. Studies show that trying to complete homework right before bedtime is never a good idea. By the time kids are in junior high or high school, they should be responsible for themselves. It isn't called “mom work” for a reason! Teaching accountability and responsibility is one of the greatest gifts to give our children. Learning to accept consequences for actions (or lack thereof) from someone other than parents is a valuable lifelong lesson. Homework is meant to function as practice for the skills learned in class. If parents do the work for their children, the children won't be able to pass classroom tests, for example. Parents can and should help with organization and study skills, but actually doing the work for them is not advised.

Q: My son is a ninth grader this year.  He has chosen electives because those are the electives his friends have chosen.  My wife and I feel like he should be in other classes and it has become a battle at our house.  What is your opinion?

— Steve, Oklahoma City

A: As we have said before, electives are the perfect avenue to explore options that may never be available again. I completley agree with Jeannie that he is the one sitting in class doing the work and I am a huge proponent of taking classes that interest you.  I do however feel that there is a time for a parent to step in while you still have some say so.  As a student I was scared to death to get up in front of people and speak. Had I taken a speech class it would have been a huge benefit to me later in life. Jeannie can attest to a time in my career when I had to speak in a huge auditorium and me knees were visibly shaking! What about art?  I hear so many student say they can't take art because they can't draw. DUH!  That is like saying you can't take algebra because you don't know how to do the problems.  We also have kids who won't take an elective because they don't know what it is. Find out!  Teachers love to talk about their subjects! Ask them! Perhaps a happy medium can be reached in the future where you both have input.  High school is the time to take these classes because in college he will be paying for them!

Sally Phillips and Jeannie DeLancey are certified school counselors with 49 years combined educational experience. Jeannie has two children and Sally has three. The responses presented don’t necessarily reflect the views of any certain school district. Send questions to questions.classact@gmail.com or mail them to Class Act, The Norman Transcript, P.O. Drawer 1058, Norman, 73070.

1
Text Only
Local News
  • Heathplex Healthplex, EMSStat recognized

    Norman Regional Health System’s Healthplex and EMSStat teams were recognized Thursday by the American Heart Association, receiving a Silver Plus Quality Achievement Award.

    July 25, 2014 1 Photo

  • DHS opens lecture series

    People leaving incarceration face a variety of challenges even without a diagnosis of mental illness. But for those who face mental

    July 23, 2014

  • ‘Magic Kids’ get royal treatment

    A Moore elementary student is among three metro children honored by Oklahoma City radio station, KMGL-FM, as “Magic Kids” for their outstanding contributions to their families, schools and local communities.

    July 23, 2014

  • Toothpick holders’ convention coming

    Lynne Ryan has been collecting toothpick holders her entire life. “My parents, Mr. and Mrs. W.L. ‘Bud’ Gibbs started our collectio

    July 23, 2014

  • Gang member charged in shooting

    An Oklahoma City man police identified as a gang member was charged with assault and battery with a deadly weapon Thursday after sh

    July 23, 2014

  • Angels protect us

    A co-worker unpacked a box of copy machine paper from a cardboard box and got a nasty paper cut. Because the source was cardboard, it was deeper than most and the bleeding was difficult to stop.

    July 23, 2014

  • Southmoore student wins gold at National FCCLA

    More than 7,000 Family, Career and Community Leaders of America members, advisers, alumni, and guests from across the country recen

    July 23, 2014

  • Sculpture brings tornado-torn community back together

    After the May 20 tornado tore through Moore in 2013, hundreds of families were left to pick up the pieces. And it was in these old, shattered pieces of people’s homes and scattered debris that two local artists found something new.

    July 22, 2014

  • Panel explains forced labor system

    Many topics were discussed over the course of three days during the 2014 Oklahoma Judicial Conference, but one of the newest issues

    July 22, 2014

  • Moore shut out of prevention aid

    As a massive tornado bore down on Moore on the afternoon of May 20, 2013, residents scrambled to find shelter. Some retreated to safe rooms at home or in buildings. Many hid in closets, bathrooms or hallways.

    July 22, 2014

Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide