OLLYWOOD ? God bless America, and how's everybody?

"Casino Royale" with Daniel Craig as James Bond, it was announced Thursday, will answer the question of why the secret agent became a womanizer. If they are going to cure James Bond of his womanizing it raises another question. Why see the movie?

The Houston Astros were swept in the World Series by Chicago Wednesday, losing the fourth game at home. Houstonians wept in the stands afterward. Gasoline prices fell 25 cents per gallon in the last seven days and this didn't help.

Miami residents stood in long lines Wednesday for gas and food and water and ice after Hurricane Wilma. Some people took the proper precautions. Wal-Mart waived its Third Amendment right not to have federal troops quartered on its property.

Kathleen Willey and Juanita Broaddrick toured the Clinton Presidential Library on Wednesday. They wanted to call attention to his sexual misconduct. Everybody is glad to see that although Karl Rove is cornered he's going out with his guns blazing.

The Onion was notified by White House lawyers on Tuesday to stop using the presidential seal in the satire magazine's mock weekly radio address from George Bush. What an embarrassment. Last week it was slipped onto his desk and he OK'd it.

President Bush began to distance himself from Dick Cheney in comments to the press Tuesday as Karl Rove began pointing the finger at Scooter Libby. Chalk it up to special counsel Patrick Fitzgerald. Until now only Yoko Ono could break up a group this tight.

The White House awaited the possibility of obstruction of justice indictments on Wednesday. However, obstructing justice in Washington, D.C., is considered no more serious than killing your wife in Los Angeles. It's nothing your lawyer can't handle.

The White House confirmed Wednesday that bird flu is spreading in Europe. The administration stayed on message. Homeland Security advised Americans to eat all the turkey you normally would this Thanksgiving, just be sure you don't enjoy it.

John Danforth said Wednesday an evangelical takeover of the Republican Party will damage the party in the long run. Democrats know that. When the trumpets sound and only the righteous are called to heaven they are sure to regain control of Congress.

The Minnesota Vikings apologized for hiring strippers for a team cruise. The commissioner doesn't want strippers linked to pro football. If league officials see two bald-headed guys sitting together at the stadium they make one of them move.

Michael Jordan denied having a gambling problem on CBS' 60 Minutes Sunday. It can be a dangerous addiction. Michael Jordan once played 21 for 12 straight hours and didn't get hit with a blackjack until he got to the parking lot.

Senator Jim Bunning offered a bill Monday requiring two-year suspensions for pro athletes who use steroids. The problem is obvious. The five ballplayers who testified at the hearing sat side by side and two of them had to sit in the hallway.

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadi-Nejad prompted world outrage Wednesday when he called for the extinction of Israel. He made the statement while addressing a Teheran conference called "A World without Zionism." So it wasn't taken out of context.

Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. He can be reached for speaking engagements by e-mail at argus@argushamilton.com.

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